best summer ever

mood:

so, so satisfied
music: Can't Believe It - T-Pain

she makes me feel so good
better than i would by myself,
or if i were with somebody else
you don't understand
she makes the people say, yeahhh

I've been reading fanfiction like crazy ever since everyone left (this is the best part of being alone here; all this time to myself to catch up on everything I've gotten so behind on due to spending time with my friends instead of being holed up in my room all day), and I've been having the time of my life. Sometimes, homework is stressful and work is exhausting, but it's nothing that a stream of good fics and a catchy song on repeat for hours on end can't fix. It's fantastic; there's all this stuff that I somehow never found before. I'm really into Darkshipping right now (it's funny; everytime I watch Yu-Gi-Oh! episodes--I'm working on the KC Grand Prix arc now after just having finished the Waking of the Dragons--I have the urge to ship Puzzleshipping just because it's so damn CANON and it's like IN ACTION ON THE SCREEN, but it's just too easy, haha), and I'm having a blast. I mean, this has and will always be my OTP. I've written more for it than anything, and they've all been pretty successful, even though they're shit, now that I look back on them, LOL.

But really, I read some of the stuff out there written for this pairing, and I have to wonder--why the hell does this author only have nine reviews when I have like 15, and theirs is like...500x better? It's pretty ridiculous, so I've been adding a bunch of fics to the Darkshipping C2, of which I'm a staff member.

I'm having a great time, but it also depresses me a little. Why can't I write like that? In-character. That's what I have the hardest time with. I'm not just horrible at understanding characters, though... My Cars stories? Wow. I went back and read The Perfect Date, and it's a damn masterpiece. Lightning is SPOT-ON and I somehow even managed to put practically every other character in there and keep them perfectly in character. Even Breaking Point pulls Charlie and Mike off pretty well. But I just can't achieve that with Yu-Gi-Oh!, somehow. I tried really hard, with my newest installment, Defeat, but jesus christ, I just can't capture the characters! It's so frustrating. It's always been like that for me with this fandom, along with other broad fandoms like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Reading good fanfiction is like looking at cute girls on MySpace; it's so pleasurable but it makes you feel so shitty at the same time! Although I suppose the latter is creepier than the first, heh.

I started my Malik x Yuugi friendship piece today, and then I read a really, really good fic about them and now I'm all discouraged 'cause there's no way I can pull off something like that! But that doesn't mean I won't try. It's just really disheartening, sometimes. But it's okay, 'cause reading a ton of fanfiction that makes me feel inferior is still a billion times better than feeling on top of the world but not being able to find anything to read, hahaha.

God, it feels like I'm still having summer. Class is easy and productive (fanfiction writing!), work is the perfect amount of hours per week and also productive (paychecks make me feel so good! Along with tip money, hehe), and except for the days where I have to do a ton of homework, I get to just sit around on my ass all day doing what I love best--reading whatever the fuck I want, blasting the same song over and over again because nobody is home, getting up randomly to grab some food, or practice freaking, or clean my room.

This is seriously the best summer of my life. I got to spend a third of it with my boyfriend, a third of it with my beloved friends--and now I'm getting to spend it with--not by--myself. Thank you, Berkeley. Thank you for giving me this. If this is the best summer of my life, then Spring Admission is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Oh, I got a 90 on my first college paper. What a relief.

Also, this is my new laptop! Named Malik, after my favorite character in the whole frickin world. Damn hottie. I also named my car "The King", which is both after Mr. #43 and short for "Thief King Bakura"; god, mixing fandoms is sinfully fun. Now I just need a Pharaoh. Rawr. Would it be too weird to name my hard drive? Pharaoh connecting to Malik... Kekeke. Oh man, maybe not, my car might kill me out of jealousy.

KNOCK ON WOOD!

I miss these days, damn. Being alone and independent is fucking amazing. Even if I'm starting to talk to myself again.

P.S. Bought a bunch of nice stuff on Saturday at the mall; I'm excited to show them off, but I don't see anybody. Hrm. Less than twenty days until I get to see Mark, though! And possibly less until I get to see everyone else! I'm so happy. happy

"Damn..."

Eyes up, 'Kura. No need to feed the Pharaoh's ego.

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Posted on 09/29/08 by Elaine

college week

mood:

exasperated at my messy room but happy at my fanfic-filled weekend
music: Love Lockdown - Kanye West

On Friday the 22nd, we had a present-opening get-together at Di's house. Watched half of Meet the Robinsons and pigged out before Mag arrived. Then, we did graduation presents! Di and I gave everyone a Build-A-Bear bear; each of us had a different Disney princess! I had Belle, Di had Snow White, Kelly had Little Mermaid, Amanda had Jasmine, Erin had Cinderella, and Mag had Tinkerbell (because she's always ranting on about how much she hates the princesses, LOL). Yay! Then, Kelly gave us each of us a big Disneyland frame with a picture of all of us inside, yay! And Mag handed out her presents from Taiwan, and she got me two cute duck keychain plushies. happy

Then, we attempted to take self-timer pictures and failed, LOL, and decided to go have dinner at The Counter. Di got kinda annoyed at me because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to eat anything there (it's a burger restaurant), but it was okay in the end. I got onion strings and sweet potato fries, which were delicious with the array of sauces they gave us. Dinner was a lot of fun; we made a bunch of comparisons between how each of us ate our hamburgers and how that revealed how we were in bed, LOL. It was pretty hilarious. Afterwards, we went back to Di's and played Cranium and watched Dave Chapelle. Then, we decided to play this random game that Jayne showed us (Psychiatrist), which was confusing but pretty cool. Went home at like 11 after a fun day. Yay!

Saturday afternoon, went to an Angels game with Jayne and Di--and no Kelly! It felt so wrong, haha. But Jayne's mom had gotten tickets from work but couldn't go because she had a party to go to or something, so we decided to go. Spent half of the time pigging out, using the food vouchers we'd gotten, hahaha. Sadly, we forgot about my Dippin' Dots (or rather, Molli Koolz or something) and I was sad, because they were the reason I'd agreed to go in the first place, LOL. Boo. Oh well. We decided we wanted to go clubbing, except Amanda was doing something with her family, boo. So Nina picked us up and we Googled nearby clubs and came up with like nothing, LOL, it was pretty sad. Ended up going to Spectrum instead to watch The House Bunny, which was actually really good. I laughed a LOT, which is always a great feeling.

Started college at the community college that Monday, which was cool. It's so laid back; it's a pretty alarming change from the busy busy crazy homework OMFG AP classes shit that high school was made of. I'm taking Intro to Humanities, American History Before 1876, Principles of Biology, Orchestra, and Astronomy. I really like my Humanities teacher; he's really chill (doesn't take attendance and is like, "Don't tell me if you're going to be absent next week or something; I don't care") and I like his stories about his family (four daughters!). My History teacher is pretty cool, he gave us a speech about how UCs and stuff have asked for him, but he refuses to teach there 'cause they charge so much for education. A lot of what he does reminds me of Mr. Antenore, weirdly enough, haha. My Bio teacher is pretty chills, too; she gives us a lot of info about how biology applies to our daily lives and stuff; I've learned a lot. My Orchestra director seemed cool but now he's all mad that the seconds suck, so I'm sad, but oh well. Orchestra is pretty hard for me, though; the literature is definitely above my level and I'm struggling with it, but I figure it'll be worth it to be able to do music this semester at least, if I can't at Berkeley. My Astronomy teacher is pretty cool, too; he definitely is passionate about what he teaches, and he knows a lot. So yeah, my classes make me pretty happy, and it's just so neat that I got to choose what I wanted to take--AND NOT ONE OF THEM IS A MATH CLASS!

A few things about community college:

The people are all either really hot or really, really hideous, LOL
A quarter of the classes is dumb as shit (I sit in front of these dumb ditzes in my history class, and they're hilarious but also pretty annoying), but the rest of the class is pretty chill
It's so cool not having a bell; classes almost all get out early and start late
Parking is a bitch! Arriving ten minutes early and five minutes early makes a HUGE difference
It's really hard to make friends, but that's okay
It's weird being anti-social Elaine again, but I just write like crazy during class (and still pay attention; it's amazing) and have a fantastic (and very productive) time
Erin is going to the same school, but I've only seen her once, and that was while I was in my car, she was in her car, and she was trying to find parking and hadn't seen me, LOL, so sad

Also started work; 2.5 hours at the Bakery every weekday. It's been going pretty well; 2.5 hours is the perfect number of hours because even though I have to go everyday, it's not for a long enough period of time for me to get really bored, and I always have a book to read, anyway. So yeah, it's pretty cool. Am still not sure if I like my coworker, but who really cares, as long as she's nice. I'm remember how much I hate taking orders and dealing with customers, though, so I mostly just hide in the back and make a shitload of tea and restock and clean shit. It's chills.

That Friday, I went dorm shopping with Di and Jayne, which was fun but exhausting. Went to Bed Bath & Beyond first, where we got a ton of shit. Jayne spent $70 there while Diana spent $200+, LOL. Pretty hilarious. I spent a hundred, I think. I was lucky because some of the stuff I didn't have to buy yet. Then, we went to Office Max (pushing two Bed Bath & Beyond carts in there, LOL; we felt so stupid), and Circuit City (where we saw Areen and Vinh). Then, we also went to Target with Nina. I got sheets to match my blanket (I got a very Elaine blue--light aquaish--because they wouldn't let me get navy blue 'cause it was too boyish; when I told Mag this, she said, "Mark is influencing you, eh?" LOL), an expensive mattress pad because shitty beds piss me off (I've been spoiled by mine, which has uber padding), a really fucking soft throw (I like to stack warm blankets on top of me when I'm cold in the winter), towels in obnoxiously Elaine colors, hangers, a makeup bag, a little tote, and a toothbrush case. Oh, we also split some Febreeze. My stuff is sitting underneath my other desk right now. It'll be there for a while, haha.

Saturday, I think we went to District to have dinner at JT Schmidt's, which was yummy. Then, we just chilled and tried on a bunch of random shoes at DSW, which was funny. We tried to go Bowling, but they only let in people 21 and over at night, so we got kicked out, boo.

On Sunday, we went to Spectrum to do some more dorm shopping. Which was cool. Except that I ran out of money for dinner and had to buy miso soup and rice instead of sashimi. But it was satisfying nonetheless, I guess, so it was okay.

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Posted on 09/28/08 by Elaine

mark's last week

mood:

resigned
music: Carry You Home - James Blunt

Saturday the 16th, went to lunch with Mark's relatives, at Koki's, which was yummy. Nothing to Kingswood or Benihana's, but still quite good. I got salmon and shrimp, I believe, which was yummy. Mark got kinda annoyed at me for a while because I didn't say hello to his grandparents immediately (they were busy talking...) and apparently they later complained to his mom about it.

...

Yeahhhhhh.

Lunch was awkward but that's fine; I was just happy to be with him. Afterwards, we went to...Mark's house? To chill, I believe. I really can't remember this day, so I'm guessing we had a good time.

The next day, went to lunch with Mark's family (including his sister and his sister's boyfriend), which was...interesting. Afterwards, we went back to his house and chilled for a while before going driving with his grandpa around the DMV in preparation for the behind-the-wheel test he'd take in a few days. Then, we went back to his house and ate dinner and lounged around before going driving with Mr. Antenore, which was strange but cool at the same time. He taught Mark how to parallel park and then let me try it, too, which was cool. Yay.

The next day, went to lunch with Mark and his mom to celebrate his passing the behind-the-wheel driving test. I was really emotional throughout the day because of my period, which sucked. But Mark was really nice about it, which I was thankful for. I felt bad for totally ruining one of our last days together, even though he kept saying that I wasn't. And when I started to get really bad cramps (which has been happening in the past few months; hope that it means that I'm getting healthier and less irregular), he gave me a nice massage and got me water and felt bad and stuff. I really appreciated it.

On Wednesday, went to Erin's for a "end-of-the-summer" party (since we both started school the next Monday), which was fun. It was supposed to be a pool party, but unfortunately like more than half of us were on our periods, LOL. It was pretty funny. Anyway, Beth picked up Buca for us, which was yummy, and then we played a bunch of random games. Beth treats us like five-year-olds sometimes, but it's okay because sometimes it's nice to just let go and act like five-year-olds. We did a relay where I had to stick my face in a pan of whipped cream to find a grape... LOL. Kelly, my opponent, was smart and just used the bottom third of her face to find the grape, since it'd be her mouth that had to grab it anyway. I, on the other hand, just mashed my entire face into the whipped cream, LOL, and I lost. Boo! After a while, we went back to the house and just chilled and played Rock Band and watched the Olympics and talked, which was fun.

Thursday was my last day with Mark. We went to the District for lunch and decided to eat at Go Roma Italian Kitchen, which was yummy. Afterwards, Mom picked us up and dropped us off at home, where we just relaxed and enjoyed our time together. Mother brought home dinner from the Cafe and stuff. I tried not to think about the finality of that day, but at around 11:30, Mark said all of a sudden, "Elaine, I'm leaving soon..." and I got really sad. And then he sang me a song... And I cried a little. I was so afraid of what would happen to us. The last time I was away from someone for a long time... I broke up with her. But he told me to have faith. I trust him. ♥

But I still miss him a lot. It's been three weeks, almost a month. I can't believe there's still over a month before I get to see him again, before I get to kiss him, before I get to feel his arms around me. Sigh. We're both really busy or tired or stressed or something or other, so it's hard to coordinate a time where we can just talk to each other. Hopefully, we'll work something out, or it won't be too big of a problem. We're both pretty independent people in our own ways, so yeah. I believe in us. :) (But still, I can't wait until Orientation, when I get to see him, even if it's only for a short period of time!)

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Posted on 09/10/08 by Elaine

busy busy week

mood:

independent
music: One of the Brighest Stars - James Blunt

Monday, August 11th, Jayne'd already been staying over for several days, and we went to go see Wall-E with Mom and Jess, which was cool. She really liked it, which pleased me, haha. I enjoyed watching it a third time very much. It's such a cute but awesome movie! Then, on Tuesday, we went to the theater again and saw Hellboy II, which was a lot of fun because we made like a billion jokes about WoW, hahaha. Afterwards, we grabbed some In-N-Out real quick, and I engulfed my cheeseburger and fries! I'm so proud that I can eat there now!

Then, on Thursday, Mark and I celebrated our six month anniversary at Spectrum. Walked around for a while and then ate at CPK for dinner, which was also a birthday dinner for Mark that I owed him from like...April, haha. Let Mark choose the food--mushroom ravioli and a chopped salad and had a enjoyable meal. Well, until the end, anyway. He brought up Jayne and a serious conversation he had with his mom, and well. I didn't take it well. At least he was fighting for me, I guess? Which is always important. We talked about ultimatums and he told me that he loves me more than he hates Jayne, and I told him what I thought about ultimatums (lessons from fanfiction... Hah). I was pretty offended and angry, really, and had to keep turning away so he wouldn't see me crying. God, I'm a crybaby. It's infuriating sometimes. Anyway, I wasn't exactly happy for the rest of the night, but I tried my best to just enjoy my time with him. I think we went back to the house afterwards and chilled until like midnight.

Since then, Mrs. Lee... Well, I've been wary of her, to say the least. Later, she complained that I'm apparently always unhappy around her--really, now?--which means that I'm an ill-tempered girl who hates everyone in the world, LOL. Umm. Yes, sunny, chipper Elaine who can't wear cheap eyemakeup 'cause she laughs too much is soooo emo, really. Also apparently I'm supposed to ask to help her make dinner when she's cooking. Oh jesus, I'm not Mark's WIFE! Ayyyyy. Anyway, that pissed me off a lot, too, and it hasn't helped that I was already nervous and wary about her after Reno and everything.

Now I'm just confused, though, really. A couple of days after Mark left for Berkeley, she called me to ask if I'd talked to him and knew where he was (I hadn't and didn't) and then asked how I was and told me that I could ask her for rides anytime if my mom couldn't drive me (especially on weekends). I was really touched that she would be that generous, especially since Mark's not even here. I dunno. Does she like me or not? Well, whatever. I'll be nice but careful about her so I'm not vulnerable but so I'm not an insensitive girlfriend? Ay. So unnecessarily complicated. :(

Anyway, then on Friday, went to Ocean's house for a LAN party, which was a lot of fun. We made spam musubi (and messed up and then ran out of time, oops) and then Ocean picked us up and we gave him the musubi as a thanks for inviting us, haha. Drove us to his house, where we set up and got on WoW and auctioned and stuff while he put together his uber new graphics card for his uber alienware computer, hahaha. Then, we ordered three Pizza Mias from Pizza Hut, which took forever to arrive! But it was okay 'cause they were yummy. We put them on the floor, and then moved them downstairs, and later found them infested with ants. He had so many ants at his house, LOL; it was insane. It was so bad that by the end of the night, the feeling of ants crawling on my skin was nothing, LOL. Ugh! His parents were so nice, though! His dad was like, "I didn't know girls played games!" LOL. And his mom went out and bought us root beer and ice cream and stuff! So nice. We did Bot like a billion times, which was fun, haha, but Ocean's thing wouldn't drop! We felt really bad for him. Around nine or so, we went downstairs and had some ice cream and root beer floats and then decided to go to Albertsons to get Bagel Bites and other gamer-like foods, LOL. It was funny. I had a good time. Ocean's seriously really cool--and he's a FANTASTIC tank. Yay!

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Posted on 09/04/08 by Elaine