Mira Mesa Tourney! Had a sectional at noon, although half the people arrived late because of SATs. Yumi gave us what should've been half an hour for lunch before call time, but after cleanup and stuff, we pretty much had like...ten minutes to run to Heritage Plaza and back. And run we did! Got some Wendy's really fast (fries and vanilla shake for me) and ran ran ran back so that we could load all the equipment. Was damn tired and got a really bad blister from running all over the place in flip flops. Hurt for the rest of the day, yuck.

Sat with Mark on the bus again and shared music while he attempted to nap. Played Hangman with Jayne, which was fun. Stupid Erin was sitting too far away. It was cold, though, brrr. The stupid wind was insane.

Got to Mira Mesa HS, unloaded, warmed up, and all that jazz. Got like 15 minutes for dinner, and was still really, really hungry after eating a hot dog. Played the show--nothing spectacular or memorable. After changing, got some more food (and freeloaded some cream cheese off of one of the refreshment stands, hahaha)--another hot dog and a Cup of Noodles--and then went to watch the rest of the shows. It was really cool watching the uber bands play--El Dorado was awesome and this other school had a really good Colorguard team. It was interesting. After the performances, went with Erin to go meet her sister, who was sitting on the opposite side of the field. Was joined by Alex and Jayne, who had gotten special admission tickets to the other side of the field and discussed the shows and our performance and stuff.

Then, there were the awards, and although we earned second-place, it was...out of two in the division, LOL. How sad. But it was really fun doing V-House, our spirit chant, when our Colorguard won first place, and the "Where're you from?" thing that Mark did after the ceremony. It was so freaking cold though; I was dying because I was wearing bermuda shorts (jeans show underneath my pit uniform), eep!

The ride home was really memorable for me. The lights were off, and Mark and I slept on each other, and I held onto his arm, partly for balance and partly just because it felt...right. We actually fell asleep, haha. He makes such a good pillow! It was like an hour long drive, so yeah. At one point in time, he got up and yelled at Drumline, "Drumline; you're not he only people on the bus, you know," and I kept my head on his shoulder, looking up at him through his hood and asked what was wrong. He said that Drumline was being loud and I said, "Ohh," and he pressed his cheek against my forehead for one brief moment, and it sounds so stupid on paper, but it was the greatest feeling.

Got back to Irvine at like...midnight-ish. Got home at like one... What a long day! Twelve hours of band, gah! But it was somehow the most memorable tournament, which is cool.




OMG, Mark was actually smiling in that picture! He almost never smiles in pics with me, for some reason, haha.

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mood: relieved!
music: Unwell - Matchbox Twenty

I am done with UC apps! OMG, what a relief. I'm glad that they didn't actually stress me out that much because I didn't really worry about them until Thanksgiving break, haha. And I took it slow over the four days I got, so yay. They actually made me feel pretty good--everyone had really good things to say about my essays (Mark rambled on about how he loves my "elegant" writing, and Kelly said that she really liked them and couldn't see why I wasn't amazed by them, awww), which really surprised me, haha, especially since I wasn't exactly proud of them. I am so tired of them, hahaha; I hope I never have to open that file up ever again.

It was a little stressful but mostly just enjoyable editing everyone's essays, too. I really felt...in my element, somehow, especially when I conversed with people about what I thought could be bettered. Like... I could do this for the rest of my life, yeah. It was a good feeling. Mag sent me hers multiple times and Jayne refused to turn hers in until I looked at it and Mark said he wished I could just be his writing counselor all the time and it was just... Happyful. I felt helpful and smart, and, well. It's been a long time since I've been able to feel those simultaneously.

So I submitted the app today, after checking and rechecking it a billion times. Yesterday, Mark, Jayne, and I stayed after school in the music lab to exchange essays for peer editing and to double-check each other's applications. It wasn't as boring as it sounds, haha; we always manage to have fun conversations. Soy came at five and the atmosphere was significantly...different. Yeeeah, he bothers me. He's cute, he dresses well, and I love his hair, but...I just...don't like him, haha. It's hard to like someone who has "gay" and "faggot" completely integrated into his langauge. Oh, and he kept saying "sucks dick"; it was annoying, at best. But dude, he even makes fun of Cory when Cory and nobody else in Drumline is there, WTF. I have a sneaking suspicion that he's secretly in love with him... Jayne asked him why he makes fun of him, and he said because Cory has a lisp. What the fuck! I would've said, "Excuse me?" except I didn't hear that part of the conversation (I was trying to edit Mark's essay). Meh.

We ended up being kicked out at like 530, haha. Mark's mom gave me a ride home, which was really nice. She was speaking in English so Mark told her she could speak in Chinese when it was just me in the car and that I understand Taiwanese. Then he wanted to hear us speak it, so she asked me how old I was in Taiwanese. And I said sixteen, LOL. She was like, "Whoa, you're not seventeen yet?" And I was like, "...Actually, I am, LOL." How embarassing. ...OMFG I CANNOT SPELL THAT FUCKING WORD! Embarrassing embarrassing embarrassing. The other day Mark caught me spelling "appalled" with only one P, which Hufsa did like...two years ago! OMG, how sad. Apparently I have some phobia of repeating consonants or something.

I stayed up until 430 last night working on a Spanish project and finalizing the app, yuck. In the morning, Mother thought that I finished and submitted, so she was really nice to me. I couldn't get out of bed, and I remember being kissed on the forehead, twice. It was...different. She saw how exhausted I was and let me skip zero and first period. And after school, she took me out for sushi because I was done, LOL. I felt really bad because I wasn't.

On a completely unrelated note, I look pretty hot on paper. I was able to fill in a lot of the extracurriculars/community service blanks on the application, which was really exciting! Every time I looked over that page, I felt very...satisfied. Like...it's nice to see that all that stuff that I did "'cause it looks good for colleges" actually got to be shown off. Yay! My time hasn't been wasted!

I hope.

Last night, Mark said that he really hopes I get into UCSD (my first choice), or higher, and I could tell he was really genuinely wishing me well. It was...really heartwarming. A few weeks ago, Jayne told me basically the same thing, and it's just... It's really good feeling, having friends who want things for you--and who truly mean it.

P.S. I failed my Physics test. As in, an F. As in, 48%. WTF LOL. It's not even in the 50's. How fucking ridiculous. I have a solid D, now. Oh, this is beyond feeling like a failure. Umm, at least I got 10/10 on the recent Calc quiz?

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It's nice to have perfect best friends. Not perfect in personality--oh, far from it!--but perfect in how they treat me. I have the friend who encourages me, the friend who keeps me in line, and the friend who just supports me.

It's good for me. I'm very fortunate.

Yesterday, Father said something in the car on the way to Black Friday that made me almost burst out into tears. He said, "You know, Elaine, I'm really very proud of you." I'd told him about the UC Statewide Eligibility thing the night before, at the Thanksgiving table. He couldn't stop asking me about it all night.

The previous week, he'd called home and I'd picked up, and he asked me what private schools I was applying to. Cringing (I really was cringing, and I had my eyes closed, too), I told him none. He was... Father hasn't been mad at me since I was ten, maybe. What on earth would he be mad about? My room not being clean when he came home once a month? (Maybe me throwing away his chocolates. His...stale airport chocolates. I do always eat the outside of the candy....) I think he was more disappointed than angry, though. He was...really upset, that's for sure. I haven't felt so guilty in a long time. Maybe since I got berated for asking Jayne to dance at Winter Formal. (Haha... The other day, she said she wishes that she could go back in time and just ask for a dance at Senior Prom, so that I wouldn't be so paranoid about it. Odd. She didn't ask me in the first place.) Mother'd yelled at me a week or two prior the phone call, but Mother yelling at me is...nothing, really. She realized how little power she actually has over me, and I felt bad. I was asking to sleep over at Di's for the WoWover, and she said (after a long argument), "I don't think you should, but I don't have a say in what you do anyway." That statement alone almost made me give in, haha. How ironic.

Anyway. It was... It's always nice to hear that someone is proud of you. And hearing it from Father... Dad. Hearing it from Dad was... It was more than nice. It was...fulfilling. And I only wish... I only wish I had done something differently--earned some high position, earned some award, gotten a perfect score on some SAT test (he was...not exactly impressed with my scores when I told him that they were out of 800...)--to let those words ring in my ears again. But...once is a gift enough; I shan't be greedy.

Jayne says I'm too greedy, anyway.

She said that in a moment of anger, I know, but it's been reverberating in my thoughts ever since. I'm not angry with her, just like I don't get mad when Mark points out my irrational flaws. Like in those situations, I'm just...sad. Sad that my friend sees something in me that I know but that I keep tucked away. I am the master of "out of sight, out of mind".

Greed. You wouldn't think that that would be my deadly sin. Envy, oh yes. (Wow, I'm like...the prototype of the worst girlfriend ever. Greedy and envious? Oh man. I'm doomed.) But greed? Sigh. She's right, though. She said, "For someone who gets everything they want, you sure are greedy." And how true is that? I do get practically everything I want. I always say that it's because I try to yearn for very little, easily attainable things, but--I dunno.

I dunno.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

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This is probably the funniest fic I have ever written. Last time I had to research pole dancing, so I YouTubed it, and got to watching all this really fascinating stuff. It wasn't even like OMG, sexy, it was just really, really cool. Some of those girls are utterly amazing. And now I'm researching strip club names, LOL, and I'm reading some of these reviews, and they're just...hilarious. It even has this guide on proper etiquette, LOL. Well, better to learn now than never.

Wow, this stuff is actually really interesting, haha. Welp. Can't say that I didn't do research before writing about a subject I'm not familiar with!

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mood: relaxed
music: Girlfriend - *NSYNC

Working on my college essays during a long weekend feels good. I don't feel as rushed, even though the deadline is in a week. I just feel proud that I'm working and successful that I'm getting something done. It's a good feeling.

So, Band Spectacular! Was a blast. Got dropped off at five with Jess, got dressed, all that jazz. Started taking the instruments out to the field, but then Jacky wasn't sure what the band was doing, so there was all this confusion about whether or not to bring everything out, and then Jacky ended up really pissed/exasperated and just told us to stay in the room. Talked to Caleb and Gina and Amy about Halloween and admired all of their fancy phones. (Seriously, is there anyone who doesn't have a fancy phone nowadays?! It's ridiculous!) Then, everyone came back into the band room, and we just...partied, hahaha. We were just fooling around and having a great time. Oh, before the band left for the field, we gathered outside for a bit with the band, and we were so pumped up and having so much fun that when Mr. Michel walked by and I said hi to him, he was like, "Wow, Pit sure is energetic and happy today!" and he took a pic of us. Yay! And when Jayne yelled at us to shut up, I yelled back, "No!" and sang my own rendition of "I'm Too Sexy"... "We're too sexy for this band", hahaha.

We ended up missing playing songs with the middle schoolers, which I was kinda bummed about, since I'd practiced them a lot. But that's okay, I guess. We did end up going to the field and watching some shows and playing ours. Woodbridge's Pit really is awesome. What I like best is that they're really into it while being very like...stoic and uniform at the same time. Yumi says it's because they're rich and could afford hiring this really uber Pit instructor, which is interesting. The show was pretty unremarkable, except that when I was leaving the field to put everything away, I saw Mother waving at me at the rail of the stands and recording me on her camera. It was really cute.


Joe, me, Sean, Jacky, and Anu!


Helen, Anu, Jacky, Sean, me.



LOL, so Asian. That was hilarious to do.


Amy, Jacky, me, and Helen!


Sean and Anu!


Caleb and Jackyyyy.


Joe in a bucket. LULZ.


Mark in his really sexy jacket. I really like it with the jeans! Rawr. I had to hide behind him because my outfit looked hideous.

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mood: good
music: Hate or Love It - 50 Cent

And Halloween was the next day! OMG, I seriously always forget how much I love Halloween; I mean, Independence Day and Thanksgiving are yummy, Christmas fills you with warm fuzzy feelings and empties your wallet, but Halloween is actually just fun. The free candy is just an added bonus. So I woke up early to get ready, and I wore my Phantom of the Opera costume to school, w00t. It was so freaking awesome; I looked so fucking sexy I kept wanting to do myself every time I looked in the window reflections--but hrm, that's nothing new, never mind. Best entrance was probably into Physics; Ebun really liked my costume and Mr. Sacks called me "Phantom" the whole class, haha. Hawt. Mark was the Phantom, too, which was uber cool, hahaha.

After school Jayne came over and Di got dropped off at my place after she went home to pick stuff up. We just hung out until we had to go to Buca to pick up the food. Got Fettuccine Alfredo, Ravioli Al Pomodoro, and Spaghetti, and calamari. Yum yum. At 530, Kelly and Erin came, and we had a hilarious meal with an abundance of Martinelli's, w00t. At one point in the meal, Di got some sauce on the underside of her boob and when we told her, she couldn't see it because her tatas are too fucking huge. Hilarity ensued as she attempted to see past her immense cleavage. After we finished laughing, I gave her some stain remover, and we threw the shirt in the dryer. She chose a shirt from my closet and wore it for the duration of the drying, except when we started playing Wii, she got really hot and had to take the shirt off. Which isn't that bizarre for Diana, though Kelly was cringing like crazy, hahaha. But then Charles and Mother came home, and Di was all over the place...without a shirt. LOL, it was hilarious. He was totally like, "Eep!" Mother was pissed, haha. In the end, I finally got Di to just put the shirt on but leave it unbuttoned, haha. Awkwaaaard.

After a while, Erin had to leave to go to her honor band rehearsal thingy, poo. There was some drama with Mr. Michel saying that she could stay (she was whining/begging) but that he didn't recommend it and stuff, and he almost left, but she ran after the car. I felt really bad for her; I hate being left out of things more than anything. Soon after Erin left, Amanda arrived, in a PIZZA SHIRT. It was awesome. I told her that if she never wore it again, I'd have it. It's so cool! We ate some candy (Mother bought a shitload of expensive shit) and played more Wii and handed out candy to the kids at the door. At sevenish, we got dressed and departed on our last Trick-or-Treating adventure!

Made the usual rounds; the Uber House of the community that's decorated insanely every year was awesome as usual. They got a new decoration--a thingy that pops out of this trashcan. I fell for it, even though three seconds previously I'd just laughed at Amanda for screaming at it, LOL. That house is seriously awesome, though. They must spend hundreds on decorations every year, and they do a crazy Christmas thing, too. They had like this enormous control panel and laptops and everything, mannn. That is cool. People really liked my costume, which was really cool! Someone said to Jayne, "Oh, a boy in a bag!" or something, LOL. And then she took off her bag and they amended it, "Oh, a girl in a bag!" Ahahah.

The loot was way better than last year (last year we had an enormous pile of candy that nobody wanted), but Diana was sick and tired after one hour, boo. Jayne and I were pretty annoyed ('Manda didn't say anything), but we took Di home. Traded candy and the usual, yumm. Then we went to my room to chill; Jayne did her homework/WoW while Amanda and I played Jenga (LOL, Amanda sucked at it), which was really fun, hahaha. I love that when you do the most inane activities with your friends, they're always a hoot. Diana joined us after a while, and then after we played like ten games of it, we...took Myspace pictures, LOL. Diana was going crazy with her camera; it was hilarious. Haven't laughed that hard in a while.






Diana's literary costume (extra credit for English) was...the curtain between Blanche's room and Stanley/Stella's room, LOL.

And Erin made these random Halloween bells and gave them out. They were so cute! A pain to wear around school as they jingled all over the place, but so cute!




We R Hawt. I actually really like this pic for some reason, haha.


Jayne was...a bag.






Amanda the Pizza!


Because slutty costumes are overrated. Like Amanda and I agreed, sluttiness should be saved for college.


Diana was a gangsta. And then she broke her gun on Jayne's butt or something, ahahaha.




If you squint, you can see my bra. Whoopsies. It was hot.


My friends are so sexy.

Yay! I finished my Halloween entry on freaking Thanksgiving! LOL.

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Note to self: Being bi is more trouble than it's worth. Guys and girls are so freaking different that learning to romance one counts for nothing--you have to know what both genders like! And then you have to remember it. Oy vey.

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It was him.

It was Kyle, at Winter Formal. In line. For pictures.

We were all looking and pointing and giggling and trying to find out of it was really him, but I really didn't see.

...

I was in the same room as Kyle.

At a formal dance, and I had a date--as in I didn't end up a total antisocial, ugly, loser failure. Is it wrong to feel totally proud of myself?

Yeah, I just found a pic of him on MySpace...with his date--hrm, is that Shannon?--and her friends, whose dresses I recognized.

Oh, I was such a silly sixth grader! I still remember writing journal entries about him. ...And Priyam. LOL.

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mood: nostalgic
music: Shape of My Heart - Backstreet Boys

You look back at all these conversations, and you see all this chemistry. You see that you were one of her best friends, her closest friend, and...more than that, maybe. You wonder why somebody like her would ever find someone like you interesting, fun, worth spending time on. And then you see all the chemistry, all the awkward compliments and the withheld adoration--all the love. Tentative love, love-in-denial--but love nonetheless.

And you remember the Last Time, that time when... When pretending just wasn't enough. But there was one moment...one moment in which it was only you and her in the world, nobody else, and how funny that she also wrote Chinese on a Buca placemat. You will always remember that. You will always remember the furrow of her brow and the bizarre way she always held her pens... And you will always remember Diana telling you, "I think so, too."

And you will always remember her jealousy, above all.

*

Love is anaphora.

*

looking back on the things i've done
i was trying to be someone

So I'm browsing through old LJ entries, and reading them is very interesting. I'm not exactly sure how, but I really have changed a lot. Elaine definitely grew up. Well. Maybe not up, but there was definitely some growth that was absent from those old entries. Also, I'm definitely way happier and secure about who I am--what I noticed most about those entries was that I was very insecure about my worth and place at school--which was the cause of my lashing out stupidly at people like "Pretty Girl" (oh, I haven't typed that in years!) and "the Venadies" (that either!). It's pretty interesting.

Also, it's really interesting to see how my friends are described in the entries--friendships have definitely changed since 2005. I'm definitely way closer to Mark (oh, these were the fighting years! I remember a time when every day, I'd go to school in tears and complain and whine to Mag. These days, we never fight anymore; he just...lectures me intensely, haha ), Jayne, and Kelly--and way distant from Kristine, Furai, and Colleeen. Some less obvious changes are my closeness with Diana and distance from Maggie. Yeah, it's pretty interesting.

Most of all, though, I realized how close Kristine and I really were. I kind of lost track of it in the past year, but really, in sophomore year, we were close. I miss it. I miss her. Jayne looked at pics of her and Aidin and says that Kristine's in love with him. I hope they're happy together, and that he's treating her well. They're...they're one of those friend-couples that you always knew were going to end up together because they just kept chasing each other around, yeah? And the chemistry was just so...obvious. The kind of couple that people say "Finally!" to. Like Furai and Aaron. They...

They give me hope. That maybe... Maybe.

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mood: good but a little frustrated
music: Tearin' Out My Heart - *NSYNC

feels like we're running out of time
if you want me, girl, let me know
i am down on my knees

I'm really trying to work on college essays, but it's really hard. UC prompts are about "the world that shapes you" and then the generic "tell us about an accomplishment/talent/experience you're proud of". For English, I started ones about my family and about my leadership in music, but argh. It's hard to articulate my ideas and make them interesting at the same time. Also, how do you describe what I did for Pit?!

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mood: better
music: As Long As You Love Me - Backstreet Boys

Cute song.

So we went to CPK for CSF Fundraiser! I invited Mark, too, and he actually accepted! It was really cool of him. Di picked him, Jayne, and me up, and we met Kelly and her family at the restaurant. Yayyy, CPK. Had what I always get now Tomato-Basil Spaghettini or something? With chicken! I'm so proud that I like the chicken, haha. And we all shared a slice of pumpkin cheesecake, mmm; theirs is very, very good. It was a fun dinner. Di and Mark kept making fun of the way the CSF rep was saying "receipt" (very, very fobbily), and I felt bad for him. Mark brought his homework and tried to do it, but we were just too engaging and interesting.








LOL, the way those two pics ended up makes it look like Mark's checking Di's tits out.

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mood: relaxed even though my nose is clogged up
music: Wanksta - 50 Cent

Mother turned fifty on October 10, and she had a party a few weeks later. I was actually pretty worried because she'd scheduled it for the same day as my senior football game, and the times overlapped, and it was just like... Wah! I'd feel terrible for ditching her party, but I really wanted to go to the game (it would've been the last one), so I was really conflicted. Luckily, the game was canceled because of the bad air due to the fires, so I was like...yay! Mother invited Jayne personally and asked me to ask Mark and Diana, too. But later, I asked her to confirm if she wanted me to ask them, and she just said, "Yeah, invite Mark." WTF? So weird. Unfortunately, Mark couldn't come, but Jayne came over at like noon and then we just hung out and played WoW. At like four I got ready in my dress--that's right, I bought a freaking dress and wore it out! It felt so weird, but it was kinda fun!

Anyway, Father drove us to Chart House in Dana Point, where we had a very tasty dinner. It was ridiculously fun splurging on food. Mmm, seafood. Jess--in her hilarious Jess way--convinced Jayne to order these delicious crab-stuffed mushrooms. OMG, so freaking good. I shared some seafood pasta and garlic mashed potatoes with Jess, had some calamari, almost engulfed all of the mushrooms... And watched in amazement as Jayne engulfed an enormous steak (along with mushrooms and salad). Hahaha. Jayne, Jess, my cousin Fred and I also shared like five servings of this delicious raspberry sorbet. We were afraid that it would cost like $7 a cup, but it was actually only $4 for a pretty good serving size. So w00t. That stuff was delishhh.

You'd think it'd be awkward to sit at a table with my aunts and uncles, my sister, my cousin, Mother's "boyfriend" Charles (this college kid she hangs out with a lot; they're always going out to dinner together, haha; he sees her as some sort of mother figure), and one of my best friends, but nope, it was pretty chill. Jayne and Jess always have really funny conversations, and Jayne even tried to engage Charles in conversation, hahaha. I felt bad for him because he was stuck at our table (and at the wrong end of our table) when he should've been sitting with Mother.

After we had a billion cups of the sorbet, Jayne, Jess, Fred, and I went outside to check out the view and take pics (yuck, flash). We realized that we were right above the Ocean Institute, where Winter Formal was! Talked to Fred about school dances a bit; his Homecoming was actually going on as we were talking, haha. Then, we went inside and Jayne and I went to the bathroom and I checked messages and saw that Mark'd texted and said that he hoped we were having fun and to wish Mother a happy birthday. How nice! So I called him and talked for a while, and he invited us over to his house that Tuesday. He ended up being too tired/sick/busy to have us over, but I was really touched that he'd proposed at all. It was definitely a landmark moment; Mark'd never invited me over to his house seriously before. How nice.

Anyway, it was a nice night, and Mother was very, very happy. A lot of her old friends came, and she just loves parties and dressing up, and the food was good, and yeah. I know she'll remember that night for a long time, and I'm just glad that I was able to be there with her.

















P.S. LOL, I found out that Kiis has like a bazillion music vids of both old and new songs, and I'm totally abusing them (as in looking up every artist and song I've ever liked and looping like crazy). I love blasting the early 2000 classics, hahaha. Me, I'm a wankstaaaaaa...

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So we had like, a whole week of fires, and it was like...crazy. National crisis, like omg. Then there was all that drama about the arsonist and it was all just very scary. Like a million people got evacuated or something, meep. A lot of people here evacuated, since the fire reached Portola, which is near Northwood. It was pretty nerve-wracking. Di and Nina packed up just in case. Made us all think, you know, what would you actually really bring if you were told to evacuate your house and you knew that you might never see your stuff again? For me? Answer's always been laptop and journals. And since I have like ten journals, I even have like...priorities (Winter Formal one and Flashback/Graduation one are the most important). And, well. Everyone knows that my laptop is my life. It has all my pictures, my writing, my websites, and my graphics. It even has college essays, haha. We had to answer that question in Spanish, and it was interesting to hear the difference in people's priorities. You had the practical kids like Janine who said college apps (haha) and the boring kids who said food and then you had people like Jenny who said journals like me. Pretty interesting.

Anyway, it was like...seriously raining ashes. I mean, that time two years ago, it was pretty freaking bad and the sky was yellow and it looked like everyone had really gross dandruff, but this time, the sky was FUCKING ORANGE and GRAY and it was just like...OMG, apocalypse. The red sun added a freaky dramatic effect. The air was the worst part. The first day, the house just smelled like smoked ham. Which was quite pleasant, actually, if not really taunting and mouth-watering. Two days later, it began to smell like cigarette smoke, which was really unpleasant, especially since we were just...bombarded with the smell. It seeped through all the walls! Yuck. And then the day after that, it got even worse than that, and it was just... It hurt to breathe! We ate inside the entire week, and all sports were canceled, and Marching Band was held inside. Pretty crazy. Like snow days! But...more fiery.

Anyway, we ended up getting Friday off because of the terrible air (but really because Bush came to the O.C., hahaha), which was awesome. Played WoW and just relaxed the whole day until nighttime, when Kelly, Erin, Diana, Jayne, and I went to the District to hang out. 'Twas fun! Ate dinner at Panera and took a bunch of fun pictures. Yummm. Then, we checked out some random shops, including Hot Topic and this random skater shop. Made a joke about needing to go shop at a really slutty store because we were on a high school stereotype binge. Hahaha.

Checked out this game shop (forgot what it's called) and we all watched Jayne play God of War III or something? I don't remember. At one point in the game, Jayne broke into this random sauna place, and Diana was like, "OMG, break down the door for naked chicks!" and Jayne did it, and...there were the naked chicks. LOL. Diana was totally guessing wildly, too. And then Jayne got to have sex with them, LOL, and there were instructions for what to press to do it successfully, lmao. The chicks even moaned, and Jayne and I proved our perviness by plastering our ears against the speakers trying to hear them. LOLLL. It was hilarious. This one random old guy who worked at the place was watching us, and at this point, he said, "You girls are nasty," and walked away. HAHA.

Erin and Kelly got bored and went to check out Borders while Jayne continued playing and Di and I stayed to watch her. Eventually, this other guy who worked at the place came by and was like, "So this is what girls do on Friday nights," or something like that, and because Jayne is like...a freakazoid who can talk to cute strangers so freaking easily, we ended up having conversation with him and...talking about WoW, LOL. I love nerds. Diana was all embarrassed to tell a stranger that she played, but we ousted her. It was funny because she said "I'm a warlock," and he said, "Oh, cool, Undead?" and she was like--totally embarrassed because everyone knows the only good locks are Undead ones--"Umm, blood elf." Ahahaha. Anyway, it was pretty amusing.

After talking to the guy (Jameson) for a while, we went to go meet Kelly and Erin at Borders. Hung around for a while and then waited with them for Kelly's family to give them a ride; we decided to stay longer. Got some drinks at the Seattle's in Borders and read some random stuff for a while. Diana was really eager to see Jameson again, so we humored her and went back to the game store and Jayne talked to him about voice chat and random stuff; it was really sad, LOL. Then, we just sat around on the couches outside and talked while we waited for Nina. It was a fun night--far from wild, but I had some good laughs.

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mood: bipolar
music: California - Phantom Planet

Get your act together, girl.

College before homework.
College before homework.
College before homework.
College before--

College before everything.

I hate making mistakes and being fully aware of it.

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MY LIFE IS SO SAD.

I just got like. So totally rejuvenated because I came to the library to work on some homework (yeah, ridiculous, I know) and had to check my email to open up the file, and it said that 1st Quarter grades were up on the Parent Portal. I've been sooo anxious to see my grades and...

DUDE I'M NOT FAILING AS HORRIBLY AS I EXPECTED

OMG

Yeah, okay, I'm still totally doing ridiculously badly, but at least... OMG!

Marching Band A
AP American Government B <-- Dude, I have a B?! WTF? I got a D and an F! But I'm so not complaining. OMG!
AP English Lit B+ (Pleasure to have in class) <-- YAYAYAY; it's not a B- anymore!
AP Spanish B+ (Pleasure to have in class / Active class participant)
Calculus B (Pleasure to have in class)
Physics C <-- ...Mrgh.
String Orchestra A (Pleasure to have in class/Shows Strong Leadership Abilities/Active Class Participant)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really proud of the comments, too. Participating in Spanish (I'm actually like, a personality in the class!) is fun. And Orch...

Okay, back to work.

BUT YAY HAPPYFUL

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WAHHHHHHHHHH I'M SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This happens once a year, and it's always like, the worst week ever.

But it just HAD to coincide with the busiest two weeks ever. OMFG, I have a Calc project, an English group project, the Major Works Data Sheet, a Spanish project, a Gov group project thing, Calc study guide, a Calc test, my fucking UC apps... OFMSDfkjfladjf;jk

I'm too sick to feel murderous.

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mood: pouty
music: City Dock - No clue!

Bit of a taste of my own medicine tonight, eh?

Tastes bitter.

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mood: sad but confused but hating myself but hopeful
music: Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have With Her Clothes On - Panic! At the Disco

i hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention
now let's not get selfish
did you really think i’d let you kill this chorus?

Sometimes.

You think you've changed, improved so much. Gotten over your flaws, your distasteful idiosyncrasies.

But sometimes, it's just that everything around you changes--not you. You don't get over your flaws--they're just put away, unused--sometimes.

Jayne is right about always calling me greedy and jealous and a bitch. But I've known that all along, haven't I?

I do not deserve this. I do not deserve this.

But I have been working to deserve it, and I will continue to do so.

I think I was supposed to get it a long time ago, but I made many mistakes.

I won't this time around.

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mood: successful
music: Irreplaceable - Beyonce

Dude, Firefox is so cool! You can eliminate other frames and just show one! How awesome is that.

In other news, this is the nerdiest weekend ever. I woke up at 10 and I've been doing homework for an hour and a half. It's Sunday, and I don't even have school tomorrow. LOL. Feels good, though. Working ahead always has.

I'm finally really doing Gov reading (because I finally have the fucking time!), and somehow, that feels good, too. Probably because I'm not in a rush because it's a weekend and not due until Wednesday. I need an A in this class, because it's actually impossible for me to get an A in Physics now (he averages quarter grades! And I have a C! ). Sucks.

What's my most memorable academic experience to date? I think I only have memorable NON-academic experiences, haha.

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mood: relaxed!
music: Cold Hard Bitch - Jet

cold hard bitch
with just a kiss on the lips
and i was on my knees

i'm waiting, give me--

Nothing beats a relaxing Saturday spent surfing the Internet, playing WoW, blasting favorite songs, doing homework ahead of time, and doing college essays. You know, except for relaxing Saturdays spent surfing the Internet, playing WoW, blasting favorite songs, and not doing homework or college apps. But I'm not complaining.

Except about how I dislike doing all this college stuff very much. It makes me feel very insignificant, very tiny, and very unaccomplished. Oh, I know that I'm a great person, that I've done a lot in high school (even if most of it isn't academic), and that I'm come a long way since freshman year. Unfortunately, all of that really means nothing to college admission officers, which is just a little discouraging. I'm not one of those people who think that just because the things I've done won't help me get into a college, they're meaningless. But it is just a little disappointing, and I feel very adamant: I want to wave my hands around and say to the colleges, "Wait, wait! This isn't the real me! This isn't all that I am!" How sad.

I'm doing this packet for nomination for scholarships, and I wrote about how being in the music program is important to me. It made me sad that I couldn't articulate everything I've done for Pit. On paper, it really doesn't sound like much; it just sounds like I did what everyone else did. I know that's not the case, though, and I wish there were some way to explain it. But it's okay. What Mr. V and Mark and Jacky and Jayne and Alex and random other people have said to me--just them acknowledging that I did a lot means more to me than a scholarship ever could. And, well. I want an award so fucking badly, but, well. If I don't get one, then at least I will know that there are people who acknowledge my hard work.

On that subject, Marching season is almost over. I'm really sad. Zero period has been the one thing I've looked forward to every day, and it's been the one thing that's really just...made this terrible senior year (academic-wise) so enjoyable. My one regret is missing all those zero periods the week of the fires... But Mother really was way too lenient about me skipping. And, well. I was fucking exhausted. But still.

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mood: tired now
music: A Public Affair - Jessica Simpson

So we had a sectional a bit ago that really pissed me off. It was after school, and Jacky wanted to talk to us about phrasing, and so she asked if we knew what it meant. Some of us knew, but we just couldn't articulate it in words. When Soy came in (he and Jacky are friends), she asked him if he could define it, and he was like, "I'll show you!" and made us go to the lab with him. There, he and two other Drumline guys played around with Finale and attempted to show us (unsuccessfully) what phrasing was, and the entire time we were in the small room, they just kept making fob jokes. Sure, Pit is full of a bunch of Asians, and a little less than half of them are fobs, but seriously... It was uncalled for, racist, and rude.

They just kept mocking us? them? for not being able to understand what they were saying, for being dumb, for sucking at playing, and it was just like... Ugh. Just blatant ridiculing of the fobs, who hadn't even said a thing to them. I was very disgusted, and showed it by explaining to--I like to think of them as "my kids", haha--what they couldn't explain and just being kinda like aloof? Anyway, I wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up about it, but a lot of the Drumline guys are assholes, and assholes are terrifying, so I expressed my annoyance through other means. Later, Mark told me that I should've said something because they wouldn't beat me up; they'd pay more attention because I'd be a girl telling them off. Interesting; totally didn't know that, and now I really regret not speaking up--Mark said he was disappointed, too.

Anyway, Jacky finally was just like, "Okay, guys, let's leave" because the guys were just fooling around, and the atmosphere was very tense; the fobs were really upset, and I felt really bad for them; they seriously hadn't done a thing. I tried to express that to them, and I hope my concern shone through. Soy followed us back to the room and was all demeaning and rude still, and he told Jacky that she had to be more aggressive, and he demonstrated by ordering Caleb to move to his instrument faster--"Hey, hey, you with the gay hair" and it was just like, WTF?! The fact that Caleb's hair is completely unremarkable in every way is irrelevant, but I was already riled up, so I said, "Don't use that word" sharply in my Elaine-Is-Annoyed-At-You (But Knows She's Better Than You) voice, and he was like, "Jeeeeez, I was just showing Jacky how to be aggressive!" and I said, "Well, you don't have to use that word" and he just rolled his eyes blah blah.

Needless to say, we all heaved a sigh of relief when he left.

I know that Jacky's friends with them, but I was a little disappointed when she didn't say anything. Not that I really expected her to, but... It would've been nice. This is the one area that I feel like I've really excelled in: talking to everyone, getting to know everyone. Whereas Jacky sometimes has to be the leader figure and gets really angry with them randomly, I go around socializing with everyone and have really gotten to just get to know everyone. I've attempted talking to Joanne and Olivia and Laura, even though they just kind of separate themselves from us all the time. I feel so comfortable with this group, and it's amazing to me because I've only known them for what, three months? Pretty awesome.

This morning, Jacky said that this was the best pit she'd been in, and that made me really happy. I truly do believe that I've been an asset to the section, both band-wise and just group dynamic-wise. And damn, do we have a good dynamic. I am more than glad that I'm joined; I can't imagine not having had the chance to meet these great people. And I am so damn proud of actually getting them to dance. It feels good to accomplish a goal that I set for myself, yeah? Doesn't happen all that frequently, really.

I'm having a party for them, because I just love them so damn much.

My thoughts are so disjointed because I'm living on 15 minutes of sleep!

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mood: my eyes are tired but I'm wide awake!
music: The Phat Pack - Gordon Goodwin

I always say that Mr. V loves me, but seriously, he really does love me. It's a great feeling, having a teacher's appreciation. Other than Mr. Giuliano, I haven't really been special to any high school teacher, and most of them don't even learn my name before the semester's over. (I still remember being so, so sad when all Mrs. Harwood had to say about me switching classes was "Oh, I'm going to miss your neat handwriting!" ) So Mr. V definitely has a special place in my heart.

The other day, he came up to me after Orch and told me that he'd made an example of me that morning, in Percussion Ensemble, when he showed them the video they'd taped, and I was the only Pit person who continually looked up as I was playing/watched the conductor during rests. And then yesterday, Mark and I were in the choir room while Mr. V played piano for the lesson his wife was giving, and Mr. V randomly asked if I was going to be his "vibraphonist" and play vibes in his jazz band. And he was really eager about it, too. I said that yeah, I was planning on trying out, but that I was kinda confused by the SmartMusic auditions (new system) they're doing this year and how the hell you test vibes on a computer, and he was like, eh, usually don't worry about rhythm section that much, and pretty much implied that I had a place. I was pretty shocked, haha. It was so random! And then he was like, "I really think you should do it, Elaine; I think you definitely have the right attitude for it, and you'd really like it." ...A teacher noticed an attitude I have? Dude. This is like, monumental. It really warmed my heart.

Later, I went to ask him if I could see some jazz music or something, because I felt weird not practicing anything, and he told me to go see him after Orchestra today. So I did, and he couldn't remember why he'd told me to, hahaha. But he showed me a random piece and summarized how it works, and he mentioned that the only other person auditioning is probably Jacky, so she'll be Jazz I and I'll be Jazz II. And he just kept telling me that I really had the perfect attitude for it and that I'd have so much fun and that I'd love it and all this stuff. And then he mentioned Reno and how much fun I'd have then, and I was like... LOL, Mr. V is psychic. But he made me really happy.

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A lesson for myself that I believe I've already learned but I think is vital to be successful in life: Learn to be happy. Unhappy people are unpleasant and difficult to be around.

Also, I am in love with James Blunt's newest single, 1973.

Among other things. Maybe.

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Last night, Jayne ragged on me for hating her, for being a bitch, for being pissy, for yelling at her, and for a ton of other shit.

Today, Mark ragged on me for not getting full credit on my Calculus homework and for being antisocial. (Funny thing is that I realized afterwards that I'd made it seem like I didn't get credit for half of my assignments when it's really only two....)

Who am I going to argue with tomorrow?

Maybe I should play WoW with Diana just in case... Haha, yeah right. I wish. Lots of Gov to finish tomorrow, plus Spanish, plus Calc HW. Fun stuff.

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Elaine: for someone who complains about being ugly all the time
Jayne: its like bad enough that i got dumped by you
Elaine: and how nobody likes you
Elaine: you sure are picky
Jayne: oh shut up
Jayne: for someone who gets everythign she wants
Jayne: you sure are greedy

She has a good point. Maybe it's time for another self-examination.

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School makes me cry more than anyone this year.

How ridiculous.

I still want to drop everything, but I shouldn't, not after I gave Jayne that talk about not giving up. And what Di said about her tutor freaking out about the fact that she didn't take high school Calculus really scared me, too. And Mark even gave me permission to drop it after this test, but...somehow that just made me feel even shittier, like...like I let him down or something.

I really wish I were one math behind, so this wouldn't even be a problem. Even if it would suck for college admissions... Honestly, that's the last thing on my mind right now. And how terrible is that? I have less than a month to finish my UC essays, and all I can think about is how I'm failing all my classes and can't enough sleep.

I hate crying over school. And here I am, crying over my Calculus homework while my friends play WoW and go see their boyfriends and hang out with church friends. And Mother still won't stop being annoyed at Marching Band, which is exasperating, and last night, Jayne and I fought (even though she doesn't even remember and apologized this morning for always being moody at a certain time of day--night?), and the things she said and that other people have been saying have just been adding to my stress, and I...

These are my current grades...

Physics: 76.5
Spanish: 86.12
Calc: 83.6 (but I've been missing a billion homework assignments because she scrutinizes every problem and I keep making stupid mistakes or not being able to finish because I fell asleep, and I got an F on the last quiz, so... It's probably more a C than anything)
Gov: I don't even know, and I don't know if I want to. I got a D+ on the first test and flunked the one we took on Friday, too.
English: 81.8 (Yeah, a fucking EIGHTY-ONE in FUCKING ENGLISH. I can blame the Calc and Physics for being math/math-oriented subjects, and Gov on Mr. Gray being a terrible teacher, but... I can't even get an A in the subject that I'm actually decent at?)

Jayne keeps talking about wanting to kill herself. Maybe we should have an emo party together.

And I woke up so blissfully happy, too... At least yesterday made me really happy.

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mood: yay
music: I'll Believe You When - Matchbox Twenty

Beckman game was nothing special, really. So I'm just going to skip over it. More shock, I know. Time for IIFT, the Invitational Field Tournament we host with Woodbridge every year:

So Erin and Mr. Michel picked me up around noon, and we got some yummy Sushi Boy for lunch. Got to school and since the lady in charge of it wasn't there yet (Mary had just been sitting in the judge box), we just ate and chilled. Erin and Mary put in the Wicked CD and danced around and stuff while I read Portrait. Then, we did some errands for the directors and stuff, and we got Dippin' Dots! My one true love. At three, the judges started arriving and stuff, so we ran some more errands. The performances started at like 415, and it was awesome watching them. Watching the pits of the various bands was definitely really exciting. I liked seeing all the themes, too. I love watching performances!

This one band (Laguna?) had some, uh...interesting costumes, though. Their pit wore tutus. Like full on, purple tutus. It was...pretty hilarious, hahaha. Even the judges were totally making fun of them, which was kind of sad, but...LOL. Here's a picture to help you visualize:



Hehe. Anyway. There was some drama at dinnertime.... Since the judges were having their dinner break at the VIP place, we went there to see what we could get, since judge-runners usually get VIP food at dinnertime. So I reached for a plate, and Mrs. Mastrionni (mean lady from the bus ) told me really meanly that I couldn't get any food. I was like, "Okay..." and backed off, frowning. Erin, Mary, and I congregated on the side and were like, WTF? but kinda like "Oh, well, new rules, I guess." But then Beth came over and was like, "You guys want some food? C'mon, let's get you some!" and we were like, "Uh, we tried, but they told us we couldn't have any." And she too was like WTF? That's ridiculous!, but more like, "What? Why not!", haha. So she went to talk to Mrs. Mastrionni and got in an argument with her and Mrs. Dennis about us eating. She was like, "These girls have been working hard all day and need something to eat," and they were like, "Well, I sent my daughter/son away when he/she wanted food, so why does Erin get food just because her mom is in charge of this?" and "And my son/daughter was only one person, and your daughter even brought her little friends" and it was just like.... I felt bad for Beth because it was two bitchy moms against one really nice mom. Erin was really mad at the "little friends" thing, because we weren't just her "friends", we were working the same job as her. Also, their kids had all day to get food (they have shifts), but our job required us to work continuously; we couldn't just wait until the end of the shift to get some food. We only had a break when the judges were on break, and this was the only time the judges were on break. So... Yeah. Also, I'd just seen Mark and Kelly get some food like three minutes before I reached for the plate, so WTF. And Mark said that he saw Mrs. Mastrionni's daughter eating... Mrgh, I wasn't as mad as Erin and Mary were, but seriously... Stupid bitchy band parents. (Mary ended up calling her mom and asking her to pick up some food for us on her way there.)

After judge-running for three hours, we ran back to the band room to make call time. There, I changed while stuffing my face with criss-cut fries; I was so freaking hungry. Joined Pit and rehearsed/warmed up with Yumi and got on the field. As we were lining up with our instruments in tow, a bunch of Pit people kept asking me a bunch of questions about what to do and where to go afterwards and telling me about how nervous it was, and it just...made me feel really warm inside, knowing that they depended on me, in a way. I'd never felt more like an assistant section leader, which I'm not even, but...yeah. Jayne observed later that they're so lost without me, haha, which made me happy.

Anyway, Pit played really well! We got the run in "The Summer Knows" down, and everything was just really great. I think it was our best performance. We were pretty exhilarated afterwards. So we put everything away and then got in line for free leftover VIP food, yay. Got a delicious Claim Jumper potato, an empty hot dog bun, and Beth got us some Sprite. Yay! Oh, and as I'd ran onto the field with the chimes and was dragging them off of it, I heard people yell "Elaine!" and the first time, I looked around but couldn't figure out who it was, but the second time, I looked around and saw my family leaning against the railing of the stands, waving all excitedly! It...I really felt my heart swell with warmth. That... I don't know how to describe it. Father and Jess never attend my concerts (Jess never cares, and I don't even tell Father about them because he's always either out of town or working...where he works, an hour away), and Mother doesn't even make all of them, few as they are, and it was just... It was a great feeling, knowing that they were there, supporting me--as a unit. And me, as part of that unit. (Oh great, I'm tearing now.)

Afterwards, we hung around in the band room and everyone complained about Woodbridge while I amused myself with Mark's ties. Beth gave us a ride home, and LOL, after we dropped off Jayne, she went to a gas station, and we went into the store to get Mark a drink and Erin some Vitamin Water, and...Beth freaking tore a gas pump thing out of its container. HAHA. It was so fucking hilarious; the pump had still been in the car when she got in the car and started driving away. This guy came over and told us that it'd be at least a thousand bucks of reparations... Dayuuum. I wonder how much it actually cost her. While she talked to the manager guy about it, Mark started teaching me the waltz, except not really, because then Beth finished, haha. But then he waltzed with her! It was cute, hehe.

Well. Besides poor Beth and the band mom drama, all in all, I think it was a pretty successful day.

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mood: happy
music: New York Christmas - Rob Thomas

Warning: This entry has like 500 pictures. I hope your comp can take it.

Yay! One of the best Disneyland trips ever. It's definitely up there with the one in August and Kelly's birthday party and my birthday party and the time I got my face painted and yay!

So I picked up Mark and Jayne, and then we met Erin, Amanda, and Tiffany at Erin's house. Mr. Michel gave us a ride, and... LOL, it was actually really sad because basically I was the coordinator of this trip (usually it's Kelly and me), and so I had like these charts of the people who were going and how we were getting there and blah blah stuff, and I randomly looked at it and thought that I'd miscalculated how many people would be going in Mr. Michel's car, and I started freaking out like crazy--before realizing that I was just reading my charts wrong. LOL. I felt so stupid. Anyway, we got there fine(ly). Hit Space Mountain after getting the fastpasses for it (the wait was only 40), and played Taboo, which Mark brought, in line. It was a lot of fun, and Jayne, Mark, and I made a good team, yay! Pwnage. I sucked at it, though, heh.


Mark is a dork for doing his Drum Major salute.

After Space, we did Astro Blasters, and I think I beat Amanda, Mark, and Tiffany! Go me! Then, we were all really hungry already so we split up; Mark, Amanda, and Tiffy went to Pizza Port while Erin got some Buzz (heh, reminds me of Mag's boytoy--ahem, I mean, stalker, from eighth grade), and Jayne and I shared a turkey leg and a Fanta as usual. I had to run back to let Mark "borrow" my annual passport discount, hahaha. Lunch was fun; we always have really random but interesting convos at D-land. It was cool to all sit at the same table; usually we have to split up into two, but it's still pretty cool 'cause we usually sit in the most random combinations, hahaha. Mark bought us bread, which was really nice! Diana came late, and was all freaked out 'cause she couldn't find her way to Pizza Port, and I was going to go pick her up at the entrance because she's hopeless with directions, but everyone kinda got on her back and kept telling me not to go, and I was confused and felt bad for her, but she did manage to find her way, so everything was a-okay.

Then, we hit Matterhorn, where we met up with Kelly and Mag and Sara, and Mag hopped right into line while Kelly (and Sara? I dunno) refused to cut. Sat with Mark, who I dared to sing a song the entire time, and he sang "Hakuna Matata", hahaha. Then we went on the Challenge Trail? I think it was at that park.... Anyway, it was all this like...climbing and bridges and nets and OMFG, it was terrifying. We had to walk across nets, and you could freaking see what was below! So scary. Jayne had to hold my hand throughout the entire thing (while laughing! ), and even then I couldn't wait to get out of there. But afterwards, Mark came up behind me and gave me a long hug, and it was really comforting and nice of him and made my day. Then, he picked me up and carried me, awwww. ...Then he proceeded to scold me about how wimps were unattractive to guys. While people got churros.


Aw, I look so excited but Mark looks so bored. JUXTAPOSITION!

Despues de eso, we headed to Haunted Mansion, except we lost Diana, Tiffany, and Erin along the way. I was very exasperated for the next like...half hour because I called them every three minutes, but they never picked up once. And then the Haunted Mansion line was too long, so we just got fastpasses for it. We continued trying to contact them while getting in line for Pirates, in which Mark spent most of the time trying to convince Sara to try out for Jazz/join Marching Band, hahaha. Sara totally should, though, I mean, she's a freaking rhythm section all by herself. She plays the drums, the string bass, the guitar, piano... So cool! But .

Continued calling them after the ride, and still nobody would pick up. So we went to get the Dole Whip that Diana'd been whining about wanting to get earlier (but we said to wait until we were heading to the other park (LOL, I just typed "parque") and that we suspected that she'd ditched us for. We bought the nummy stuff and I got to have one all by myself because Mag gave more than half of hers to Jayne. So good! Headed to the other park, and got a phone call from Di that they'd just seen Pamela Anderson, and Amanda was like, "OMG, I did, too, but I thought I was just imagining it!" ...LOL, WTF was Pamela Anderson doing at Disneyland? Hahahah. Erin said that she had crazy titty boners. LOL. Anyway, we hit the Rapids, and since it was just the seven of us, we got to just sit in one raft instead of splitting up, and we didn't even get a random single rider. How awesome. We all got pretty damn soaked, hahaha. Mark's button up shirt even like...changed an entire shade, LOL. We got the geyser at the end, too! It only comes up like...one in forty-seven times or something? We've gotten it once before, too, w00t. So funny, hahaha. I love that ride!



Diana, Erin, and Tiffany met up with us after that, and we all went to Mulholland. On the way, Mark and Jayne both gave me massages simultaneously, and OMG, it felt great. I love massages! Then we proceeded to have a massaging party, hahaha. It was funny because the fobs behind us kept talking about it. And Di and Erin and I got BARRICADE, w00t. ...Yeah, the police car cart, haha; last time, I got Optimus Prime; that was awesome. After that, we split up and I went to Tower of Terror with Mag, Mark, Jayne, Di, and Tiffany while Erin, Amanda, and Kelly (Sara left to hang out with her friends) went to chill somewhere. Yep, I went on it for the first time in a few trips. I didn't cry (well, it was the distressed kind of tearing), but I was definitely scared shitless. I almost didn't go on it, but the line didn't move slowly enough for me to really decide, and everyone was being really understanding and everything, so I got in the...cart thing. Jayne told Mark to hold my hand, and he did, and he told me I could squeeze as hard as I wanted to because it would probably still be really weak. Well, I took that to heart, so I hope I didn't hurt him, haha. The ride...wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it to be. Holding onto Mark and then leaning on Jayne really helped, haha. I'm glad I went on it. Hopefully next time I'll be able to go on it without my friends' urging. (I kissed his hand in thanks when the ride was over.)


In the past, I've actually looked really good in the ToT pictures, but here I'm just...a blob (LOL, I just automatically typed "blog") with no face holding Mark's hand and leaning against Jayne, ahaha.

After that, we went to the Animation studio thingy, and did some of the Ariel's Grotto activities (Mark and Mag recorded a bunch of thingies in Chinese, LOL) and did the personality tests in the Beast's Library and had fun posing for the pictures, hahaha. Then, most but not all of us went on the Sun Wheel, and I screamed a lot, hahaha. That thing is terrifying but so much fun. After that, Diana, Jayne, Tiffany, and Mag did a quick run (lol) of Maliboomer while Mark and I went to look for his slushies (the stand had closed, aww; I felt bad for him) and then peeked at the Moo Moo Pizza place. Then we went back and sat with Erin and discussed her now crotchless pants, LOL. Apparently they had split sometime during the day, ahahaha. I think we met up with Kelly and Amanda after that and got fastpasses for Screamin'. After that, Mark and Jayne and I had fun racing everyone all over the place; we got a lot of exercise and we were triumphant, too! How fun. Then, dinnertime! Got the usual clam chowder bowl and a sandwich, just because it sounded really good. So expensive, but it was definitely tasty, and I had lettuce, so I felt uberly healthy, w00t. Dinner conversation was funny as usual, hehe.


We didn't even coordinate it! Everyone said I look hideous, but I think I look awesome.

After dinner, we went on Screamin', and I had a great time...screaming. Except I had to scream to the left because I was sitting next to Mark and didn't want to blow his ears out, hahaha. It was so fun, though! That and the Rapids are my favorite. Also, I love the picture of Mark and me, ahaha. Everyone said I looked really ugly, though, poo. I think I look kickass. Anyway, we then went to Soarin' Over California, and... LOL. As we were waiting for one of us to use the restroom, Jayne spotted this guy standing outside the restrooms juggling like four cups of beer, and asked him if he needed help. So random, LOL. He opened his mouth, and ZOMG, he had an uber accent. So we started talking to this random guy, and his girlfriend came out of the restroom and started talking, and I was like ZOMGx50, hot Australian blonde chick! [faint] It ended up that they were going on Soarin', too, so we conversed with them while we were in line, hahah. Apparently, Jayne, Di, and Tiffany also drank some of his beer, haha. Tiffany was totally in omg!boycrazy mode and Jayne was just smooth-talking the entire time. It was pretty funny. Mark quietly pointed Kelly out to me; she was totally disapproving of the entire affair and standing a little apart from us. I felt kinda bad, but kinda like...exasperated, too. But that's okay; no biggie. Oh, and Mark and I were talking to (read: flirting with) the chick and she told us she was from Vegas. I was like...OMG, orgasm. It was funny telling her about Irvine and the OC. And LOL, the guy manning the line wouldn't let them in with alcohol, so they chugged it. Pretty hilarious.


This is TJ, Tom Jones, and his girlfriend, who we didn't manage to get the name of.

Anyway, we finally got front row seats on Soarin'! The past few times we've gotten third row, which is way...not as cool, haha. We all took our shoes off, too, haha, and we were really loud, shrieking and cheering and stuff, heh. Mark even yelled some "Yeah, California!" thing at the end, LOL. I love it when we get all rowdy, and we have an excuse: we're teenagers. So fun! Oh, but in line, we kind of had some dissension because Kelly was going to leave at 10, and Erin was going to leave at 1030, but Jayne, Mark, and I kinda wanted to stay later. So I called Mother and asked if she would pick us up at like 1130, and she said okay, surprisingly. It ended up that Mag went home with Kelly, and Amanda and Tiffany with Erin, and Diana stayed afterwards with us, and that Nina picked us up past midnight instead of Mother at 1130.

But that's later! So we went back to Disneyland and split up; Mag, Mark, Jayne, and I went to ride Haunted Mansion while Kelly, Amanda, Erin, Diana, and Tiffany went on Space Mountain. We had to hold onto each other to get through the fireworks/Fantasmic crowds, and I felt like I was five, but it was fun, haha. It was a hilarious ride; I got to sit with Mag, and she screams at everything. Her screaming kept prompting my screaming (I wasn't even like scared until she screamed, LOL; it's just kinda automatic), which made it even more hilarious. And then, at the end, when there's supposed to be the ghost in your buggy, we had a question mark box thing, and these things popped out of the mirror as we were trying to figure the box out. We screamed really loudly (I was actually really surprised for this one because I'd never had it happen before), and Mag, who was in the midst of drinking her bottle of water, spat water all over the buggy. HAHA. I couldn't stop laughing, especially after the attendant gave us--along with the buggy--a totally confused look because it's...not a water ride, LOL.

Anyway, then we made our way back to the end of Main St., and Mag said that she could make her way back to the pumpkin (where she was meeting Kelly) by herself. Jayne, Mark, and I sat on a bench and proceeded to nap, Mark and Jayne's heads on my shoulders. I felt like a hobo, but it was nice. I like intimacy very much. Diana, Erin, and Tiffany headed back to look for us, except they couldn't find us, and Erin was feeling sick so Diana was throwing a fit about making us get up to meet them, and then Mark and Jayne were throwing a fit about getting up, and I was like . After a long series of phone calls, they met us at the bench, and Mark said he didn't really feel like going on a roller coaster, but I convinced him to go on Big Thunder. Amanda and I had fun screaming, whee! After that, Erin, Amanda, and Tiffany left, and Di, Mark, Jayne, and I went to Fantasyland and rode the carousel, whee! I got a cool lookin' horse. Then, we got in line for Peter Pan 'cause Mark wanted to ride it. Except he was all high on who-knows-what, so Jayne and I had to hold onto him so he wouldn't collapse, except Jayne was half asleep, and it was just funny. After Peter Pan, we tried out a billion benches to sleep on, but none of them were as good as our first bench (LOL, now just replace "bench" with "girlfriend"...), so we headed back to the end of Main St. and slept on a bench there, Mark's head on my shoulder and Jayne's head in my lap. Bored, Diana bought tea and then took a billion pictures of the wildcats that roam Disneyland at night. Nina picked us up around midnight, when the park closed, and she dropped us off at home.

What a successful run of Disneyland! Like, really, I was expecting to have to manage things a lot and to be forced to feel left out (which I do hate very, very much) a lot of the time 'cause I'd have to cater to this group, and to this group, and this person, and that person, and it was just...amazing how we all got along fine and had a ton of fun. I'm very grateful for that, and my memory of that trip will stay at the front of my mind for a long time. And what made me really happy was that the day after, Mark told me that he'd been thinking about how he had fun doing Ariel's Grotto with Mag, and he realized he had a lot of fun the entire day, and he was going to tell me about it, but then he realized that he didn't have to because he was having fun with me and everyone and that I knew he had fun. Also, wow, he knows me really well; that really does make me really happy. Yay!!!

P.S. Am I ever going to get to ride Nemo?! The line was still an hour long! Also Indiana Jones was closed, boo.
















I look like I'm flirting with the cameraman while Mark, my daddy, protects me, haha.




























I look so pretty here, but Mark and Jayne...don't.




...LOL. Hobos on a bench!

Yay!

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